number 171 posterior

this word seems so fitting to what i woke up to last saturday - a hang over, magazines with powder on them, 3 different kinds of filled cigarette packets, half drunk drinks with bits of mandarins in them, a random scarf, someones name stuck above my bed and writing on the wall...flashes of girls showing underpants and only 1 photo?

friday night started with me eating my dinner at 5.55pm wishing for 8.45pm to be just around the corner so i could not be drunk by 6.15pm. not one phone call from anyone saying that they were doing anything, and immediately i wanted to be somewhere else. enough - cut straight to allowing myself a bottle of the finest $15 wine with the prettiest label to drink back on my boring new couches with my own boring self. finally, phone call number 1...dance and tim ringing the door bell just as they do...'where are you??'

next, living right in the middle was paying off. random visitors just when you thought you were the biggest looser in town. emily was first, then benadict, then mikey, then 2 new boys, one with a camera, the other with stickers. it must have been the moon, or something, because for some reason the pink flowers that are growing straight out of the bulb on my kitchen bench have the most intoxicating fragrance that truly makes you want to eat them. i pretty much think they are the best thing in my house right now, every one agreed...but i also felt like if i had handed someone the shittiest pencil they would have responded 'god, this pencil is the most amazing pencil i have ever seen in my life'...(the moon for sure).

how could i have been wishing away minutes previously when all of a sudden it was 1am? i can't even remember who followed us down the road to a place filled with familiar faces. i do remember saying 'this is why i don't have a tv' as some love sick ex was screaming at the other party 5cm away from our faces the woes of their heart ache. trouble happens when someone asks you if they can smell your flower, and you answer appropriately.

all of a sudden the same foot steps are walking up my same green stairs to more of what was happening before we left for down the road. the door buzzer starts ringing again, and again, and again. people can be pretty funny at 3.45am. someone said something about my posterior...to which they had immediately lifted their skirt to show the entire room the state of theirs (underpants over the top of stockings included - amazing). more people i kind of know walk through the door, but when they proceed to ask 'whose house is this?', i am like, next destination immediately.

what happened later in time i have no idea, just when you thought leaving was a good thing...but i know you snooze you loose in this town, that is for sure.















***1 photo only - dance and fume

number 170 true blood

***vegetarian, i don't think so, look at the eye's. JO!~

number 169 new jack birthday

***andrew 30th birthday

number 168 man with a stick

number 167 STOP IT!!

number 166 let us have mayonnaise

hungry jacks would NOT let us have any mayonnaise NONE...so we got chucked out because steve through all of these chips on the customers below!















***dinner 3am mikey, bena, steve

number 165 jonny bulldozer

when your phone rings at 3am and it is a blocked number on a sunday night, usually it involves drunk overseas friends or drama - so i answered.

'hello is this ana?' a male voice said in a french accent...'yes' i answer...i really wish i could remember the whole conversation, because it was bend over backwards funny, but i was half asleep. last year i went through a stage of getting prank calls at similar times in the early morning. one of them involved a quiz, where i was to choose between contestants, 1, 2, or 3.

contestant 1 - was a 23 year old that like to cook sausages and smoke weed
contestant 2 - was a 21 year old that was unemployed but rode a skateboard
contestant 3 - was a 25 year old that was at uni and did something else that i can't really remember.

they all had a few other incredible attributes, but again i can't remember due to the time of the call. i went for contestant number one for old times sake - which proved to obviously be the right answer to the caller, because of hysterical high pitched laughing (from what sounded like not just 1, but multiple young males), as a result of my choice. when i asked 'how many people am i actually talking to, because, the person who now wants to know what i am doing at 2.10am sounds quite different to the quiz host?' more hysterical laughter, and then 'bahhhhhhhaaaaaa it's a 3 way ana - do you know what that is???' i could go so many ways with that question, so i thought what the heck 'why don't you come and show me...' somehow i don't think they were expecting that answer...phone slammed down. i go back to sleep.

so last nights call was sort of along those lines, but had a little more structure to it. i did check this morning to see if i had dreamt the whole thing, and there is a 4 minute phone conversation from a private number at 3am listed.

when i asked 'who is this', john answered...i was like 'john hey? i don't know if i know any john's but you do kind of sound familiar, could you give me some more information about yourself john...' 'did you call me asian?' john answered, 'no john i simply asked for some more INFORMATION about you as i can't really place you.' the french accent had slipped back to some sort of very youthful sydney tone at this stage, but then was right back on when he answered 'my name is jonny bulldozer,' 'oh right jonny bulldozer, still not coming to mind but anyway' i answer....this went on with me laughing at the silences in the conversation as jonny was obviously trying to think of what to come up with next.

'so are you going to tell me anything else or is that all jonny?' jonny responded that he was getting on his bulldozer as we were clearly wrapping this 3am conversation up and i didn't really think there were going to be any dirty innuendo's thrown my way, so i ask 'what are you going to do with that bulldozer jonny?...'

'I AM GOING TO RAM IT UP YOUR ASS, is what i am going to do with that bulldozer of mine!!!' slam down phone.

wowza's - i need to get up on the old prank phone call front, or maybe practise my street fighter tactics.